You are viewing joliebelle

storm in a teacup
05 May 2012 @ 10:42 pm
We've got obsessions. I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week.
We've got obsessions. You never told me what it was that made you strong and what it was that made you weak.

Long time no post, as usual. I just really felt the need to post because I feel myself slipping back into the old version of me. The version of me that I have tried so hard to change. I feel like the old me is coming back because I stopped making progress on my weight loss, and once that happened I got unmotivated. I know that I didn't put on all these extra pounds in 3 months, so I shouldn't expect to lose it in 3 months. But I am very impatient and I get stuck easily. I feel like it has taken me so long to decide to do something about my weight because I got stuck emotionally. It's so easy to go through the motions of your everyday life without realizing that there's a problem until something happens. I had to realize that I wasn't putting myself first. It's funny, I always said that I could never afford to go to the gym here (avg membership is about 70 month), but I'm pretty sure that I could easily spend that much eating out during a month. In order to live a healthy life, you have to put yourself first and realize that it's not about how you look in your clothes. It's about how you feel and how your body performs. You shouldn't get winded walking up a flight of stairs, or after a quick sprint to catch the bus or train.

While I'm on that thread, I'd just like to express my frustration with people trying to lose weight by unattainable methods. I don't want to sound all high and mighty because I'm trying to do it the "right" way, but it just pisses me off for some reason. It's totally reasonable to expect to lose weight by only eating fruits and vegetables, but it's not reasonable to expect that weight loss to be permanent. Counting my points is a pain in the ass, but I have learned a lot from it. Mainly that my portion sizes were way out of control. It's a struggle, but I know that I am worth it.

I don't think I ever revealed my weight here. I think I've made mention that my training is in the mental health field. I've always been a big proponent of using self-disclosure as a means to make meaning. Currently I am 172, but the lowest that the scale has gone since I've started my weight loss has been 170.8. The highest that I have ever weighed has been 181. So I am progressing. I just know that I can't expect perfection. And giving up that idea of perfection is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

**originally posted on my blog.
storm in a teacup
Holy long time no update :) I don’t really have an explanation for why I haven’t updated…I just…haven’t.  Lots of things have happened since last updated (well duh), but I won’t dwell on them here.  Let’s see what’s new…I graduate in almost two months and it’s a really scary feeling. I will have been in school for 20 years of my almost 24 years by the time that I graduate.  I don’t know if I’ll know what to do with myself if I don’t have a test to study for or a paper to write. For the first time in my life, I will actually be allowed to start my life. Along with that, I kind of feel like I’m behind on life.  There are so many things that I have yet to experience and I can’t wait to get started on them.

More to come soon

Current Mood: tiredtired
storm in a teacup
04 April 2011 @ 09:30 pm
1. Name: Tamara
2. Birthday: 8-10
3. Where do you live: Chicago, IL
4. IM: fallen_star810
5. What are you studying/What are you working as: MA in clinical counseling with a concentration in children and adolescents
6. What makes you happy: being with my fiance
7. What are you listening to now/have listened to last: adele- set fire to the rain
8. Weirdest food you like: hmm...deviled eggs?
9. An interesting fact about you: I'm almost 24 and have never had a real job
10. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment: yes :)
11. Favorite place to be: in my fiance's bed, cuddled up
12. Favorite lyric: This is hard! 1) All the words they give her make her feel so soft and pretty, she wears them but they never, ever seem to fit 2) And I love you more than I can promise, and you take me as I am
13. Best time of the year: Spring :)
14. Put a picture of yourself: Click herrre

1. A film: Inception
2. A book: Some Girls: My life in a harem by Jillian Lauren
3. A song: Christina Aguilera- Falling in Love Again
4. A band: One republic
Current Mood: tiredtired
storm in a teacup
28 June 2010 @ 08:22 pm
Long time no post, as usual. 

I finally moved into the city 2 weekends ago. I live in Ravenswood now, and so far, so good. It's super quiet, and it's less than a 10 minute walk to the el. Yippee! 
Since I live in the city now I can actually, you things now.  Went for a 2 hr. walk/run with one of my friends from school on Friday...we went down to Lake Shore and then back.  On Saturday we went tothe Taste  of Chicago and saw Band from TV and Gavin Rossdale (so so hot).

Summer school is bananas. Seriously.  I have at least one thing due every least it's almost over though. 

Oh, I almost forgot. I finally got placed for internship a few weeks ago! I will be woking at HILA in a small classroom setting with children who have austism spectrum disorders and/or emotional and/or behavioral disorders. I'm so excited about it :)
Current Mood: calmcalm
storm in a teacup
17 April 2010 @ 06:43 pm
If you don't know what that means, it means keep it simple, stupid.  and so I shall.

I'm engaged and I couldn't be happier!  My proposal was also quite simple and I loved it. Obligatory ring pic:

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
storm in a teacup
05 February 2010 @ 11:08 pm
Minor notes:

1) Boooo Suburbs: I'm supposed to be in Wrigleyville for a friend's birthday playing bar golf (aka: bar crawl), but I can't because I missed the damn train out of the city and it was going to be another hour for the next one. I didn't want my friend (and birthday girl's roomate) to have to wait on me, so I told her to go ahead and have fun. This problem wouldn't have existed if I didn't live 30 mins outside the city. I plan on moving into the city whenever my huge chunk of change comes in from the VA. I could have taken out a loan for the amount of living expenses, but undergrad already cost me a damn grip and this school the same way. Next year though, I will be living in the city. I promise

2) Yayyy Practicum:  I got approved for 8/10 sites originally, which is fabulous.  Our school then sent out an email saying that 4 new sites were open to applications, so I requested for 2 of them, and got approved :D However, I am dropping one site because I found out that I need a car if I get the position, and I don't have one.  So I am applying to 9 sites for practicum and I'm kinda in love with about half of them :D

3) Yayyy Jax: Finally booked my ticket to Jax for spring break. I'll be there for 6 days, but I just want to go back for a little bit to a) get out of Chicago and  b) spend time with my sisters because I've missed them more than I thought I would.

That's all for now, bbs

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: sara bareilles- between the lines
storm in a teacup
20 January 2010 @ 10:26 pm
This semester has off to a really busy start...unfortunately.
         The one thing that really is looming is practicum/internship. In a nutshell, practicum is really big deal. We have to do at least 700 hours of (unpaid)supervised counseling training in 9-12 months. That amounts to 16-20 hours a week, on top of being in school full time and most likely working at least one other job. I just know that I'm going to end up feeling like I'm being pulled into a zillion different places...
        I had a meeting with my advisor today to go over my CV (resume) and list of sites. Even though he said that my CV looked good, and that my sites looked good too, I was super anxious about it all. And, I don't mean anxious like nervous, I mean that my anxiety disorder was rearing its pretty little head again. I've been taking meds to manage it since the summer, but I went off of them because I felt like I was managing it well on my own. I say all of that to say that, I told my advisor that I had GAD and that I felt so anxious on the inside, and basically he said that it didn't show.  I think that visible anxiety is one of my worries, that if I looked like on the outside how I felt on the inside that no one would want to hire me.  Le sigh.
     Let's see here...I got another job :D I work in admissions and I'm a glorifed paper pusher, but hey it'll pay the bills. I also bought
these and definitely paid significantly less for them.
    That's all folks

Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: interpol- the heinrich maneuver
storm in a teacup
10 January 2010 @ 10:27 pm
Yeah, so it's been awhile. Some highlights from the past 8 weeks:

Spent Founders day with the Chicago Alumnae Chapter and the Epsilon Chapter...the girls are super cute and I love their house. Their chapter is over 100 years old!
Went to my first professional football game with my boyfriend and his sister. It was amazing, our team won and I had a great time.
On the way home for Thanksgiving, I ran into a friend from high school at the airport. Chicago is a small place, apparently.

School became increasingly hectic as the semester winded down.
Speaking of school, my procrastination increased as the semester dwindled down.
Had drama with a teacher over an undeserving grade, but I won't discuss that...
Went to the Chicago Alumnae Christmas Party with our former International President...had lots of fun that night. Even though it was 12 degrees that night.
Finals came and went. GPA for the semester: 3.2
Spent Christmas week with my boyfriend and his family, got a gorgeous Tiffany necklace and other things
Went home to SC for New Years and partied with my bestie and other friends on NYE

and now we're here.
I start classes again on Tuesday...still no classes on Mon or Fri because I am amazing like that.

I'll post more later...nip/tuck is on.

Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: nip/tuck
storm in a teacup
12 November 2009 @ 11:31 pm
For one week, recommend/share:

day 1: a song
day 2: a picture
day 3: a book/ebook/fanfic
day 4: a site
day 5: a youtube clip
day 6: a quote
day 7: whatever tickles your fancy

Although Ms.Portman has been on my shit list lately (free Polanski? I don't think so), this is sheer hilarity.
what you want natalie?

I have to go finishing packing for the weekend. squee!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: lady gaga- bad romance (yes, again)
storm in a teacup
11 November 2009 @ 09:41 pm
For one week, recommend/share:

day 1: a song
day 2: a picture
day 3: a book/ebook/fanfic
day 4: a site
day 5: a youtube clip
day 6: a quote
day 7: whatever tickles your fancy

Keeping it short and sweet today, kids

Why the fuck do you have a kid?

Off to study for my theories quiz tommorrow...xoxo

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: jason mraz- butterfly